I was a High Priest Group Leader, Gospel Doctrine teacher, and father of five. I had three sons serve missions. I defended the faith for decades — not casually, but hard. I went down swinging.
The research changed my view. Not a critic. Not an outsider. The Church's own documents — the ones linked in this quiz — changed my view.
I built this site so others could see what I saw, from the same sources I used. I didn't build it to hurt anyone. I built it because I wished it had existed when I was sitting in the dark trying to figure out what was true.
If you're a missionary reading this — I see you. The position you're in is genuinely hard. You're being asked to represent something you're no longer sure about, to people you love, while keeping it together on the outside. That takes a toll I don't think the institution fully acknowledges.
You don't have to resolve this right now. The sources will still be there. So will you.
What you're feeling isn't apostasy. It isn't weakness. It's what happens when an honest person pays attention.
A few things I wish someone had told me:
- You don't have to decide what you believe before you decide what you know.
- Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Certainty is.
- There is life on the other side of this — rich, meaningful, connected life.
- You are not alone in this. Not even close.
